A Wheeled Stalker
11.18.08 at 11:13 pm by Blake
Some of the most interesting social behaviors occur on public sidewalks. Lately, my wheelchair has spooked pedestrians into reacting with the oddest of behaviors: a move I will call “The Fake Detour.”
The Fake Detour goes a little something like this. I’m traveling down the sidewalk at a normal speed (maybe fast walking) when I begin to close in on a pedestrian in front of me. I slow down enough to maintain a comfortable distance, usually about 5 to 10 feet behind the person in front of me. The pedestrian in question then commences The Fake Detour by straying from the sidewalk and stopping, as if to observe a sign or something on the ground or as if to stop to think. Once I pass by the person, he or she will continue back on the sidewalk, now safely behind me.
I hypothesize that the subject (1) is aware that I can travel at a faster speed than him or her, (2) perceives that I desire to travel at a speed faster than him or her, and (3) is compelled by feelings of empathy and or insecurity to remove him or herself temporarily from the sidewalk, leaving my path unimpeded.
I further hypothesize that the majority of subjects commit The Fake Detour out of feelings of insecurity rather than those of empathy. It is as if they think I am a stalker on wheels, determined to catch them in a secluded area where I will undoubtedly inflict irreparable damages to their toes and shins. To date, I have only defended myself from this deceptive maneuver by increasing the distance between me and the pedestrian in front of me. But my defense is no longer enough. I am now considering a counteroffensive measure. It’s simple. I will counter The Fake Detour with The Fake Detour, engaging unsuspecting pedestrians in psychological warfare.
To those who will say, “But what about the ones who move out of empathy for you?”, this is my reply. There will be some unavoidable casualties.
Freedom isn’t free.
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6 Responses to “A Wheeled Stalker”
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[...] with a shoe has very little maintenance or restorative properties. Meanwhile, check out Blake's wheelchair stalking post. Be afraid, very afraid.Over at Disaboom, where I also post these posts, cherylberyl has asked [...]
It could also be curiosity.
If you’re trying to stare at someone wheeling around behind you, it’s quite obvious what you’re doing. But if you let them get ahead of you, you can stare without being too obvious about it.
Once long ago and far away, back when I was a bit of a jerk, I moved a guy across a high-school gym by gently (ever, ever so gently) touching his ankles with the footrests of my wheelchair. Why? Because I was waiting to see my niece graduate, and he came into the gym and stood directly in front of me. The nice thing to do would have been to say, “Hey, bozo, I can’t see through you,” but I decided to experiment.
In fact, I must have bumped him a dozen or so times, and the bozo never looked back. Instead he would move a slight step forward.
It was a bizarre experiment. On my part. On his part — what can I say?
Gary http://www.garypresley.com
Gary, you might find this post by Stephen Deal humorous. Especially the “talking to navels” section.
It happens. Sometimes people just get to you. Sometimes it’s their fault, sometimes it’s yours I guess.
I am a fake detourer…. BUT it’s never happened with a wheelchair (not that I remember anyway) – I actually just HATE having people very close behind me… untrusting person I am!! However I acknowledge that people maybe a little put out if I snarl at them for invading my personal space so i will often just get out of their way… especially when it’s a woman with a buggy!
LOL I know exactly what your talking about! I’m a blind quad. and I have a guide/service dog. I have people literally jump out of the way even though I am a good 10 feet or more behind them. Sometimes people will push the person they are with out of the way too like they are scared I will knock them right off their feet. If I was closer and going faster it would make more sense, but usually I am at roughly the same speed they are.